Flowers that do not particularly attract bees and butterfiles

[roitelet]

I know this is a strange question as we all want to attract these pollinators but my Grand daughter has a pathalogical fear of them but she loves flowers. Can any of you suggest some flowering plants that she can plant that will fit the bill together with some foliage plants.

Looking forward to your responses, thanks.

[veggiechicken]

Bees are not attracted to flowers that have so many petals that they can't reach the pollen. So old fashioned flowers are best for bees: modern varieties, bred for appearance not practicality would be better for your Grand daughter.

[Two_Sheds]

I don't think it's going to be healthy to try and keep her away from fluttery things all her life. It could become a really crippling phobia in adult life

[donnakebab]

I'm with TS on this. In any case there is no way you're going to stop them investigating even if they don't hang around for long. Far better to teach her how important they are.

Was it Einstein that said if bees all died off we would follow within 4 years?

[Two_Sheds]

My stepdaughter was similarly phobic when she was little, following a sting. We gently but consistently calmed her when she made a fuss in the garden, didn't react to tantrums/panics, and showed her through our own behaviour how safe it was, really, which meant quite a few family meals in the garden.

I also taught her the difference between stingers and friends, and let her put wasp traps up in the garden for the stingers. She's now 9 and totally unbothered about flying things.

[roitelet]

She is 22 and I agree with you that she shouldn't be kept away from fluttery things and bees but educated into accepting them. When she finally comes for a visit It is one thing I will try to do. I don't want her to pass on her phobia to her daughter. When she finally gets her postage stamp of a garden going (or her Mother does it for her) perhaps she will come to accept the bees and butterflies. The phobia has come from her other Grandmother and her Father who have a fear of moths. So for now it is big fluffy flowers and foliage.

I didn't like spiders until someone made me look at one trapped under a glass and now while I couldn't pick one up they don't worry me any more.

Thanks for the suggestions.

[Two_Sheds]

22 ~ that might be too late then. Work on the daughter

maybe a grass/bamboo planting for the garden?

[donnakebab]

I had a fear of spiders when I was young. When I had my children I was determined not to pass it on to them. Now I can handle small spiders, it's the monsters that run out from under the sofa I can't handle, but my kids don't have a problem at all and are always happy to sort it out for me. Don't know what I shall do when the last one flies the nest and OH is out!

Again I'm with TS about the daughter. It could be something that you both do together and then as the little one grows up she might be to help her Mum conquer her fear to a certain extent.

[elleme]

I used to have a major moth phobia as a child. I'd still feel uncomfortable if one was fluttering around in an enclosed space, but it's much better than it used to be. Once I got into gardening (in my 30s) I also became interested in wildlife gardening and that helped the phobia recede, since I accepted that fluttery things were part of the ecosystem and if I wanted other visitors, then moths were a part of the whole. I've been genuinely pleased to see hummingbird hawkmoths and a lone jersey tiger visit the garden in the last couple of years.

So I think there's hope for your grandaughter yet, and that total avoidance isn't the best way to go.