In shock :-(

[Creemteez]

What a terrible, senseless crime. Puts lots of things into perspective. I totally agree with all the good advice above. Contact her - just a note will do initially...

[jackyspratty]

I cant add anything apart from what has been said, Im so sorry for all involved. I think the knowing someone is there is the important thing. No words can change anything. Sometimes taking a meal round for the freezer, so its there when no one can face cooking, or offering to take the kids for a day with the dogs on the beach can invaluable when all words fail. Take care of yourself too. xx

[Sanjo]

I agree with all these comments, especially those saying let her know you are there for her and offering your help.
Keep strong, she needs you.

[Seahorse]

How very sad As everyone else has said, just letting her know you're there for her is about all you can do. I like Donna's suggestion of taking round a meal for her and the kids.

[veggiechicken]

Write her a personal letter, not one of these "Sympathy" cards. You'll both find it hard to talk without becoming emotional so write, offer to go round, do whatever helps
When its hard to accept your loss, a letter can be read in private without having to show your emotions and in years to come, it is very comforting to re-read those letters and know how many people cared.

[Florence Fennel]

So sorry OWG, that is tragic.

[SlugLobber]

Write her a personal letter, not one of these "Sympathy" cards. You'll both find it hard to talk without becoming emotional so write, offer to go round, do whatever helps
When its hard to accept your loss, a letter can be read in private without having to show your emotions and in years to come, it is very comforting to re-read those letters and know how many people cared.

Yes, I would do this, too.

It's awful, isn't it? There we go, by the grace of God...

Had a lucky escape myself a few years ago in a club. Some moron thought it would be funny to drop a pint glass from the next floor up, directly onto my head. It shattered all over me, but I didn't even have a cut. I thought someone had hit me, until my friends started pulling glass out of my hair. What possesses these people to do these things??

[Headfry]

My dearest Brother-in-Law, killed in car crash just a few years back....he just went to work as normal, left my Sister and little girl of 7... how do you tell a child (I found out)
Still hurts me - always will, he was the big brother I had always wanted.
I even said to him 'dont let that job be the death of you' just a few days before. (they ran him ragged with long hours)

From my heart I send my love to all those who deal with this sort of thing....it is so hard

[OverWyreGrower]

I am off round to my friends house on Wednesday... with 2 POL chickens (to replace the very poorly one and to keep the kids occupied), a little hamper of my jams and some homemade bread and some HM soup, in freezer bag portions...

If she wants to talk about it, that's fine; but if she doesn't, that's fine also....

[bearded bloke]

Good on you girl

[OverWyreGrower]

Right, I've got my friend a little gift bag and I'm going to put the following in it...

HM jam x 2
HM bread
Lavendar essential oil
'Sleep Easy' bath soak
Little box of chocs
Soothing candle (smells like fresh washing!)

Plus the hens for the kids (which aren't going in the bag, obviously) ....

Can you think of anything else little to put in the bag?

[Potstubsdustbins]

OWG,

Your friend will need only you, the rest are very nice extra's but it is you that will make the difference.

Colin

[Jeanied]

Bottle of wine? Or is that too big?

My friends turned up with two bags of shopping so I didn't have to think about anything for a while, and some bottles of wine so I slept well. I found lighting the candle really soothing. Some spray for the pillow to help sleep?

[TallGirl]

Right, I've got my friend a little gift bag and I'm going to put the following in it...

That's a lovely idea. Friends recently sent a card and a small gift box to say 'we know you're having a tough time; we're thinking about you', and it was really touching to know that someone cared.

Knowing that you have a supportive friend is the biggest thing. You could help with the housework maybe, to stop things piling up as badly as they can when things are hard?

I am so sorry to hear about this. What a stupid, ridiculous thing to happen.

[julesapple]

Brandy possibly? An evening of oblivion maybe needed, although it might be too early for that yet. In the early stages you find it impossible to rid your mind of the lost loved one, the questions (why?) and the if onlys.

I know my mother meant well when she kept going on about 'time', and 'getting on with it' and 'moving on' but it was only a week after Toby died, we still had to face an inquest and the funeral. For the BH and I, life was going nowhere. We didn't want it to go on, if anything we wanted it to go backwards.

There were a couple of nights when we got blind drunk in order to sleep. It worked, sort of. I had sleeping tablets from the doctor but I didn't like being completely out of it - what if one of the children had needed me? But brandy relaxed me, rather than made me catatonic.