The Gardeners Rest #12 (2017)

[Nicos]

This is the property of Rary.......

[Lumpy]

great great great Grandfather and I....................

[veggiechicken]

...........know where the little Blue bag of salt can be found (because salt was very valuable in Ye Olden Days when rary was young ). You can find Ye Olde Way Past its Best Before Its Use By Date Blue Bag of Salt in the............

[Lumpy]

bottom of the dark and scarey.....................

[veggiechicken]

............Moderator aka Killer's handbag. Do not rummage in there for fear of finding............

[Lumpy]

photo's of the Mods in their school.........................

[rary]

And also rary's recipe for cooking old birds, after all in the olden days it was old boilers that got cooked hence the need for salt, you fed them some salt to help flavour their meat.

VC would you like to taste this salt,its a special mix

[Lumpy]

shouted Rary just as Lumpy finally collasped with exhaustion. She had been dancing the Charleston for over an hour now waiting for the music to stop so her girations could be scored.

GL, who was in charge of music had left the track on constant repeat so she had kept on dancing.

By the end she was just a shuffling, gasping, thinner elephant than when she had started. Her feet were swollen and her trunk had cramp (not a pretty sight). She looked around expectantly waiting for her.................

[Greenleaves]

...her marks from the panel of judges....10....10....

[Lumpy]

10...................3 said the most fabulowsa..................

[Greenleaves]

Dance ever.....Cads on the other hand thought it was.......

[Lumpy]

completely unfair because Lumpy had 4 legs so how was he going to compete for the shiney, glittery, blingish crown he so wanted to put on.....................

[veggiechicken]

..............his missing front tooth, Cad so wanted to be able to give one of those knock 'em dead smiles, when your teeth sparkle like stars and lights up the room.
Lumpy could see that Cad was upset, so she tiptoed over, even with her swollen feet she could still sashay, and whispered " 'Ere Cad, open yer visor, I want to give you something to remember me by".

Cad, looked very apprehensive, at least his slitty eyes did behind his helmet.
"C'mon Cad, I can't hold it much longer, Open yer Visor - NOW!"

Cad, fingers shaking in their chain mail gauntlets, very gingerly lifted his visor a crack.

"More, more" shouted Lumpy excitedly.
The iron clad fingers slowly raised the visor, exposing Cad's quivering lips and his missing tooth.

Lumpy drew nearer, "Close yer eyes Cad, open yer mouth and think of England"

and, as Cad shakily did as instructed, Lumpy's trunk whipped out from behind her back and jammed the glittering Disco ball into Cad's expectant mouth.

Gguuuuurrrrkk he gurgled and gasped and.............

[Lumpy]

nearly fainted with the shock of having a glittery front tooth. He spent hours mooching around the forum asking...........'do you want to see something glittery'. Janie had no idea what he was talking about until he showed her his enormous...........




(sorry can't help the inuendo)

[veggiechicken]

..............smile It sparkled from cheek to cheek, it was as though all the stars in the heavens were there to enchant and entrance............

Yummy, said Janie, I like a Milky Way or a Mars bar but not after............